Definitely Not Looting {open}

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

Laharl was so looting.

Okay, so more like he was about to begin the process of looting. He had an empty sack slung over one shoulder and was busy twirling a key about on one finger. And he looked far, far too happy for the usually grumpy Laharl. In fact, he looked downright gleeful, with his lips constantly twitching in something approaching a smile. There would likely even be a spring in his step, that is, if Laharl wasn't slightly dragged down by the fact that he didn't quite have as many renewable vassals as he would have liked. He needed a little more... incentive first. At least he'd already set up a place for his... acquisitions, and it certainly wasn't the room they assigned him.

But back to the looting. Laharl stopped before House #6. He stared at the building for several seconds, snapping the key into his palm while he considered. This was definitely the right place; it matched the key, at any rate. Laharl even double-checked that, smiling evilly all the while. Oh, he'd have some resources soon enough, enough to hire plenty of minions. He wouldn't have to lure people with promises and his not nearly as impressive powers; he could just use the riches of Finland.

Confident, Laharl approached the door. He slid the key into the lock, tried to turn it... and got it promptly stuck. Frowning, Laharl tried it again. He put pressure onto it. He leaned mightily onto the key. Finally he began cursing loudly, nearly shouting. He also began beating the key, threatening its life and the lives of all its family members. Needless to say, he was causing quite the scene...

[Deleted]

Kida loved and hated reading at the same time. It was good for the same reasons as it was bad; it reminded her of Atlantis and Milo. Carrying a book around was like holding the piece of her heart that was missing. In other, less-poetic words, the queen was homesick.

She remembered when Milo had shown her the Atlantean alphabet. According to him, she had become perfect in her reading and writing much faster than he had ever seen with other languages, so he decided to try teaching her the Latin alphabet, too. This she had also picked up rather quickly, and combined with her natural fluency in just about every language, gave her the ability to read a vast array of literature. Right now, she was trying to read "Moby-Dick". Kida was doing pretty well, too, until she was distracted.

There was a loud stream of curses coming from two houses over. Kida ignored it and put her pillow over her head. This was followed by pounding, to which she responded with an irritated twitch.

Something about killing relatives of a key...

As the noise increased in volume, Kida lost it. She chucked the pillow across the room and dropped the book. She stormed up to the window, but never expected to see a pint-sized thief.

"What are you doing!?"

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Laharl snapped back, his hand snapping to turn glaring eyes at the girl. He didn't recognize her, nor, frankly did he care one way or another. Had he his impressive powers, he'd have been flaming with rage. He also would have likely blown the door away by now, instead of continuing to attack the key like a helpless little kitten. And that was one image Laharl did not need.

"I'm trying to get into thi--my house!" Laharl continued, pointing an accusatory finger at the building in question. "But it won't take the stupid key! There's stuff in there that I need, and this door is about to get it."

He growled, moving to kick the door with his foot. Normally, this would result in the door buckling under the power of the kick, at least slightly. But considering that Laharl was quite the scrawny young man, all that happened was his falling backward, nearly tumbling down the sidewalk. He spat curses and scrambled to his feet, attacking the key again. He even descended to biting it, mostly because he was getting too angry to use much in the way of sense...

[Deleted]

"I am not a fool, you do not live in that house!" Kida angrily retorted. The younger Shifted stayed in 'dormitories', as she understood. She was pretty sure, at least.

All of the children she had met so far were wonderful. This boy was definitely a change. On impulse, Kida hopped out of the open window (it was only six feet or so from the ground- she had survived much larger falls) and strode past the picture perfect lawn of House #7 to where the child was standing.

Crouching down with her hands on her knees, Kida smirked, "I could get into this house without a key, and you cannot enter it with one!" She wasn't lying. At full strength, one kick would completely destroy the door, though there were many, many more stealthy ways to infiltrate a home.

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

"It is so my house!" insisted Laharl. He turned from the key, glaring at the girl. His glare slipped into an expression of surprise as she clambered out of her window, nimbly jumping to the ground. He'd expected her to, well, more or less stay there and shout at him. In Laharl's experience, that was generally what girls, especially girls who read for fun, liked to do. They certainly didn't leap down from their windows and stride toward you with authority and grace that was downright unnerving. Laharl had the distinct feeling that he was staring down another fight.

"I could so get into it without a key!" insisted Laharl, waving his arms wildly. "You just break one of the stupid windows with a stupid rock and climb in. Plus, I'm small, so I don't even have to make that big of a hole," he grinned cockily up at the girl. Great, she would be taller than him; pretty much everyone was. Though, come to think of it, everyone had been taller than him back home. Even Etna and Flonne, who were at least his own age and similar races, had a few inches on him. Shortness, Laharl could deal with.

"And if it's not my house, then why would I have a key, huh?' demanded Laharl, turning to point at the key. The answer was, of course, because he'd stolen it from the rightful owner. "That's the key to my house, and I'm gonna get in and get some stuff that I need."

With another confident nod, Laharl turned to the key. He took a deep breath and turned. And turned. and kept twisting and pulling...

[Deleted]

"Mmhm." Kida hummed skeptically, arms crossed. "You stole the key. An idiot could see that. In Atlantis, thievery is punishable by death." She paused for effect on the last syllable. "I help enforce that rule, of course. And children behave as they should."

She drew herself up to her full height. Not terribly much above average, yet she towered over the boy. Kida supposed she looked intimidating, with her snow white hair and bright blue eyes and tattoos. According to many people, Atlantean or otherwise, she was a scary person. Was that supposed to be a bad thing?

"I suggest you return that key to its owner, boy. Do you wish for me to call the suits?"

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

Laharl nearly snickered. Death? Here? From some freak with white hair and no weapons? She really had no idea who she was dealing with. Laharl actually snorted at her bravado, "Sucks that you don't have any proof of that," he said. A cocky smirk followed, and he reached behind him, hoping to turn the key and enter the house. It would be suitably dramatic, after all. Unfortunately, nothing immediately happened, which, really, should have been expected by now. Laharl mumbled a curse and jiggled the key. As he did, he felt it slide in with a slight, nearly inaudible click.

And now there was the looming and attempting to look threatening, which Laharl more or less ignored. He gave Kida a quick once over, then went back to the key. "Yeah, you're not as scary as you think you are," he commented. A twist, and the lock took. "I've killed scarier things than you. Nice try though," he pushed the door slightly, relieved to have it finally swinging open. Laharl made a mental note to jiggle the keys next time.

There was, however, a very real threat backing up the looming and bluster. The suits. Laharl paused, staring into the house for a few seconds, racking his brain to try and figure out how to get out of this. The suits couldn't get involved; his plan would come to pieces then. At least, Laharl figured they wouldn't exactly be thrilled with his having kidnapped a Shifted, not to mention the plans to expand his captive collection.

"I am gonna return the key to its owner," he said, taking it out of the lock and sliding it into his pocket. "Just as soon as I'm done getting the stuff I need outta this house," he turned and faced Kida, his arms crossing over his chest. He puffed up his chest as best he could, staring her down. Even if she called the suits, Laharl figured he'd have enough time to loot the place and get out of there...

[Deleted]

What proof did he need? Her to go back to Atlantis and return with a severed head? If- no, when, she escaped, Kida was never coming back!

Criminals were criminals, no matter how small. And with his size, she could just pick him up and hoist him over her shoulder like the sack he was carrying.

'Not scary? Ha! He should see himself! I could defeat him, even without my spear.'

Even if some of her power was gone, her mind was made up quickly. She was taking him to the suits before he could do any damage.

"You are coming with me, child!" Kida spat, taking a hold of his skinny arm with her iron grip.

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

Laharl had pretty well expected her to get physical with him. Seemed to be what most people did whenever they encountered the Overlord, for whatever reason. He felt her hand seize his arm and he hissed. Yeah, sure, they got physical quite often,  but it usually didn't hurt quite that much. He turned to glare up at her, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"Look, granny, you have no proof that I stole the key," he pointed out. "So leggo," he tugged, but, of course, Kida had far more strength than scrawny Laharl. The Overlord mumbled a curse, and, seeing no other course of action, moved to lick Kida's arm, mostly because he didn't feel like biting yet again. He was sure he'd pick up diseases with all the biting he'd been doing lately. Plus, would be fun to see her reaction.

[Deleted]

Granny? GRANNY!? She was only... eighty-eight... hundred... or so... hmm. The crazy delinquent had a point. That wasn't good.

Something slimy was on her arm. And very wet. Kind of like a tongue.

Did he-

He did.

He. Just. Licked. Her.

Kida squeezed her eyes shut, pretending that Laharl was one of the plentiful fauna on her island that seemed to love her. Ironically, it wasn't to hard to believe, what with his behavior.

"Try harder." She hissed, digging her nails into his bony arm. Unusually, she was beginning to feel a bit guilty. The only person Kida had met who was this skinny was Milo.

Great. Just what she needed to think about. She mentally swept the thought away as best she could. Not very well, that is.

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

Whaaaaaat? Laharl's brilliant licking strategy wasn't working? he could swear he saw her shudder and close her eyes and such. Nice to know he had some effect, at any rate. Though for about the hundredth time, Laharl fervently wished he had even a portion of his demonic abilities. Just being able to cast the smallest fireball or use the lowest level version of his attacks would have done brilliantly. Instead, he was reduced to the moves he'd learned as a small child.

"Okay, but you asked for it," he said, shooting another look up at her. His other hand came up, latching onto the arm holding him in place. Then he dove his head forward, sinking his teeth into Kida like a dog who'd just found a juicy bone. His other hand squeezed and twisted, seeming to move in the traditional "Indian rug burn" maneuver.

Truly, Laharl was pulling out all the stops, utilizing the lowest tricks from the Great Book of Demonic Fighting, Edition XIII...

[Deleted]

Oh, this brat was so getting it.

Kida tried flinging her arm every which way, which must have seemed very comical to the casual bystander. When this didn't work, she gave a frustrated jab of her knee to Laharl's gut. Though this clearly hurt him, he still didn't let go.

Suddenly, a clever idea popped into Kida's brain.

"Now that I have you, why not visit the suits?" To prove her point, she dragged the boy down the steps of the house and into the lawn. Pain and tooth-marks she could deal with later. Even if she was reluctant to help the Estates, especially after she had been sedated and kidnapped (Kida-napped?), Laharl had insulted her, and Kida had never been one to forgive easily. 

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

Laharl was nothing if not tenacious. He could certainly deal with some arm wiggling; he'd practically prepared for that. If anything, the rapid motion and the sheer absurdity of it reminded Laharl fondly of home, when he was usually dealing with prinnies doing this to him. Sure, there the roles were generally reversed, but the circumstance was certainly similar enough to jar loose a few memories. As for the knee to the gut, well, it definitely hurt; Laharl "hurked" and everything, but he was growing steadily more used to physical abuse.

Then the girl had to get smart. Laharl opened his mouth to protest, which meant dislodging himself from her arm. He glared up at her again, his own temper rising. "What is with you?" he insisted, squirming again. He was trying to figure out which tactic to switch to now. Clearly something that would make walking difficult. "Not like I'm rob---stea---going into your house! It's mine! And I'm an Overlord for---aaaah!"

The ahh was neither a shout of alarm nor a cry of pain, but one of realization. For Laharl firmly believed that he had the best idea for his next achievement. he licked his fingers and aimed them for Kida's ears, hoping for the element of surprise to aid in the Wet Willie attack.

[Deleted]

As soon as Kida saw the Overlord come flying at her, she ducked. Over five thousand years of training was certain to hone reflexes, and hers were just about impeccable at the moment.

Briefly, she wondered why he stuck his finger in his mouth, before giving up. With him, it could be anything, that much she knew.

When she heard him hit the ground with an "oof!", Kida immediately rolled over and pinned his arms down by his sides.

"To answer your question, justice. As a queen, it is my duty to protect innocents." With a pause, she added, "And their homes."

[Laharl Krichevskoy]

[err, taters, I'm not sure how to respond here. Laharl's not on the ground; he was aiming for Kida's ears. If anything, he should be sorta up. Kida can clearly outmuscle him and stuff, but I'm sorta confused...]